I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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