dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't deserve a penis
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
