did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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