let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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