Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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