I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
PANTIES FOUND
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