do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
