I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
