I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
