I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
