what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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