dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize