I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
this hospital has no fireball
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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