I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
