Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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