Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Less talking, more tequila
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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