well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
