I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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