I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
