hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
