dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
