who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize