my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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