I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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