There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
