Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
