You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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