Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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