the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize