yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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