Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
