Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
