My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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