I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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