I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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