Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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