I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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