She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
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If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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