btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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