new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
and you fell through a lawn chair
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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