I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
time to smoke my breakfast
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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