Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
