I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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