Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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