the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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