Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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