You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
