My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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