I accidentally had phone sex last night
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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