i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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