Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
