i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
