I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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