when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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