just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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