My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
