More tranny stories later!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
