so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
