yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
