Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize