I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
