I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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