i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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