I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
